Phase Four: Assertion
Phase Four is very special. It is the rising of your expression as a one-of-a-kind person...
I have been laboring over this episode for weeks, about Phase Four of the 12 Phases™ -
All the phases are experienced on an intuitive (natural, unconscious) level, so I have to get in touch with that experience in order to describe it to you.
Every distinct person has a distinct voice that adds to the statement of humanity.
The Dr. Seuss storybook, Horton Hears a Who, surfaced as the perfect illustration of what happens in Phase Four.
Horton is an elephant with enormous ears, the better to hear faint sounds.
He hears a small cry for help, looks around, but there's no one in sight.
He knows he didn't imagine it, and locates the sound on a speck of dust floating near him.
Astonished, he learns that the "Who" he heard is the mayor of Whoville, a whole town with families, homes, and buildings.
Horton grabs a clover flower and quickly catches the dust speck. He becomes their protector.
But in the quest to save them from the unbelieving and dismissive animals around him - those with smaller ears - Horton needs all Whoville to make more noise.
Despite a valiant effort of racket and shouts, there is one small person who is not taking part.
It is the addition of his clear "Yopp" that breaks the sound barrier to save Whoville.
“A person's a person no matter how small.”
On the other end of the spectrum, there is a shocking series on Apple TV+, for adults only and with a caution, even at that.
The story is about a woman who finds herself viciously described in a book of fiction.
Her struggle to defend herself is ignored, the story having greater emotional impact on the public.
It's a tale of how the first liar wins…
It is not uncommon for any of us to find ourselves in such a situation.
Gossipers and their attentive audience become enthralled in speculations - a mystery of sorts...
Too much work to check facts, and more often than not, no one thinks to question the story.
Imagine a hurt and angry ex, telling tales to justify themself...
If your credibility is questioned in the face of misperception, what can be done?
It is not enough to have your friends' support in quiet conversations.
Nor does it help to shout and make an emotional racket without making sure your perspective is heard and understood..
You must ‘simply’ let your voice be heard and weather the opposition until your position is clear.
Ah yes - Phase Four...
The word assertion came to me as a perfect tag for Phase Four.
Defined as
1) a confident and forceful statement of fact or belief, or
2) the action of stating something or exercising authority confidently and forcefully.
Confidence it one thing. It can come from recognition -
the very thing missing when you're seen but not heard.
Figuring out a good place among others is not enough.
Phase Four is the action, exercising an authority that cannot be misunderstood.
So where does this authority come from?
The sequence of the 12 Phases™ is the development of personal authority -
of the gradual progression, day by day, that creates confidence.
Being forceful is not physical, at this point.
This is not a response to an external force or any imagined ideal.
The "force" is the life force in you that is the catalyst for growth.
The force of life is not something you or I can generate by intention,
but the intention to survive is always there, the need to exist according to your DNA.
The force of life is what classifies humans as living organisms.
So, when the pressure to conform or to gain approval conflicts with your DNA -
your distinctly different, inborn traits -
your whole being revolts because you feel a threat against your individuality.
The instinct to exist as a unique type of human is powerful, and is a matter of individual survival.
"Assertion" - making a "confident and forceful statement" - is personal.
Assertion is the biological force of your unique essence.
As a cherry tree becomes more apparently a cherry tree,
it is recognized in all the world as a cherry tree.
Not as an apple tree or an evergreen tree.
Every day, you are being yourself, not really knowing what that is.
And throughout your life, you increasingly recognize yourself as "you" through every significant life event.
The process on the way is subtle, constant, and productive.
The experience of Phase Four - the forceful energy that pushes you to the surface - that is the power of life.
It is the "triumph of the human spirit" - your spirit -
showing you who and what you are made of.
You feel the force of life moving through you,
the necessity of filling your place in the world.
Phase Four comes in sequence...
Phase One is the impact in the unexpected that stirs your intuitive self-protection.
Phase Two is to absorb from the situation what is useful for your development.
Selecting good stuff from your life experience is a day-by-day, lifelong process.
Unconscious selection from life experience builds your intuition about your uniquely personal priorities.
Choosing how to relate to others in a new situation has much to do with creating safety.
As if bags of treasures are clutched to its chest from Phase Two,
your organism needs safety in an unfamiliar circumstance.
So, in Phase Three, your intuition scouts the situational territory to find a place to settle in.
In Phase Four, then, survival in the new situation demands a good place among others, AND respect for the space you occupy.
Your "Who" must - and will - be heard.
In this “incubator” the "seeds of good" acquired in Phase Two start to sprout.
Blending the separate pieces together, necessary for growth, happens in Phase Five.
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Referenced in this blog:
Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss
Keywords for the natural 12 Phases™ progression:
Disruption
Phase 1: Impact/Intuition
Phase 2: Recovery/Priorities
Phase 3: Position/Relate
Growth Process
Phase 4: Path/Determination
Phase 5: Harmony/Assimilation
Phase 6: Strength/Breakthrough
External Order
Phase 7: Meaning/Perspective
Phase 8: Transition/Preparation
Phase 9: Manifestation/Visible Unity
Personal Authority
Phase 10: Comprehension/Judgment
Phase 11: Emergence/Letting Go
Phase 12: Permanence/Acceptance